Emotions are always with us in the many tasks we do throughout the day;
either with our relationship with our significant other, at work, friendships, etc.
It is our emotions that control what we feel depending on the circumstances or events that come to us.
For this reason, we need to be able to control our feelings specifically when we face moments where our emotions want to take the best of us.
When we learn how to control our emotions and know the reason why we feel a certain way, it helps us understand ourselves and fight against it, so we can become emotionally strong!
Here are some things you should be aware of in becoming emotionally strong:
1. Admit what you feeling
Yes, that is exactly what you read.
Sometimes we go through situations where they can make us very annoyed or bring emotions that we don’t like, for example, jealousy, envy, etc.
No one is afraid of saying:
“I am so annoyed”
you hear this almost all the time. However, is very rare for you to listen to someone say:
“I am very envious of ________”.
Why? Because most of us admit our ”reasonable feelings”, like being angry or sad, but we don’t do the same with our bad feelings.
So how do we expect to deal with them if we don’t recognize they are there?
And you know what’s funny? No one will know unless you.
One of the main reasons why we are not self-aware of our feelings, is because most of the time we don’t reflect on the “why?”
- why did I act like that?
- Why did I say that?
- Why did this make me feel jealous?
- Why did that make me feel envy?
- Why do I always speak badly about others?
- Why am I not patient?
- Why did I feel angry with that person, when they were advising me to do something good?
- Why am I feeling anxious about this situation?
- Why am I always nervous?
- Etc, etc.
Most of the reason for us not to ask WHY is because we sometimes hide it under the carpet and never deal with that ever again. We think it’s not a big deal!
Acknowledging any type of feeling that comes to you, either good or bad, is good for you. Of course, the good feelings you can keep, but if there is anything bad that comes throughout your day, you must take time to analyze it, so you can successfully fight against it.
Ask yourself if it was an external event or if it’s something that has triggered you from the past.
2. Do not keep any emotions inside
I have seen this in my own family, and I am sure that you have too.
Things that happened years and years ago, for some reason, the subject is always coming to the surface again. Something that should be resolved in the past, comes again in the present to make a mess.
Why? Sometimes there is an emotion that someone does not want to let go of, a situation that happened that had truly harmed them, and they feel in the right of keeping that event in their hearts.
Don’t do that.
Do not let anything stay inside!
Especially things that you can’t physically change. Let it go..
There are many ways you can do this:
- Decision:
You can have a conversation with yourself today, and say to yourself that you no longer want to hold this (whatever it is) in your heart.
Every time this might come to your mind, say to yourself
“I decided to let go of this, so I no longer will hold onto that” Simple!
Say it as many times as needed, but let it go for real.
- Writing:
The best way for me to release my emotions sometimes is by writing, I can put every single feeling and thought into the paper, and I can express myself better that way.
And even sometimes when writing, I realize how foolish I am in certain situations. So this might be good for you.
Every time you face a situation where you are struggling to let go, put it in a paper, or have a specific book exactly with this aim – your vesting book – where you can place anything!
Believe me, by the time you finish writing everything you will feel already lighter, and ready to let go and move on.
- Activities:
Some people need to get active.
And when I say active I mean doing something!
Some shout when they are alone, while others are going for a long walk. Others will be doing some kickboxing and letting everything out through their sweat.
Or maybe going to the gym. So activities can also help you to let go and move on.
Whatever works for you, as long as in the end, you are able to let go of this emotion that might be holding you back for too long.
If you don’t know what works for you, try everything. There is nothing that can go wrong in trying, so try until you find the best way for you to overcome this.
3. Your Code
Create your own code every time you face situations that you don’t know how to control.
Some count from 1 to 10, others work better to deal with their emotions when they leave the situation and then come back later on.
Find your own code, for situations where your emotions are overtaking you, or you can perceive that will overtake you, so you respond the best way possible and not with your emotions.
4. Change your mind
Every time there is a situation outside that makes you lose control of your feelings negatively, you are been a slave of your feelings.
And to get out of this state can be hard at times, especially if acting by emotion brings consequences to your life.
However, don’t see this as the end of the world, take some time to reframe your thoughts. Don’t be overtaken by negativity but do something positive that will bring you back to yourself and learn from it.
We all make mistakes and no one is perfect at mastering their feelings!
So recognize you have made a mistake, see what can be done about it, change what you can change, and move on.
5. Emotions
We can have bad emotions that impact us, but we can also have good emotions, so doing things or being next to people that bring out the best of us, should be something we all look to do.
Sometimes we can not control and we are placed in situations where the other person does not bring out the best of us, it happens always.
That’s why, we should surround ourselves with people that do us good to balance it out. We are not heroes, so sometimes we need this good support from others.
